In a survey I conducted, a reader wrote:
We have a 15-year-old daughter. She is sharp and intelligent. She hardly listens to the advice of her parents. She enjoys the ways she likes best. As she is in high school and the annual examination is only five months away, she has to perform well, else it will be most difficult for her to gain entry into a good college.
As parents, we are very considerate, abide by the best ever value system, and wish that our daughter imbibes some of our traits. But our advice falls flat.
Can you please help us in surmounting such deviant behavior of our daughter and tell us how to deal with her so that she does not fritter away her valuable time at this important phase of her career?
With warm regards."
Interesting question and one I have a couple of answers to. The first one is my initial gut reaction, the answer that immediately came to mind after I read your question. The second one is what Wallace D. Wattles had to say on saving a wayward child.
First things first...
Here's my initial gut answer:
What does she want? You've told me what you want, but not what she wants!
Here's what Mr. Wattles had to say:
"Do not follow, watch, or spy upon the wayward one; and do not preach or scold, or lecture. Be yourself, what you would have him to be; and calmly, persistently and with faith concentrate the Power upon him until you have produced the mental condition you desire. 'And what things soever ye desire when ye pray, believe that ye have them, and ye shall receive them.'"
With those two things in mind, my bottom line advice to you is twofold...
Here it is:
1. You be what it is you want her to be (quality or trait wise, not specifics of what you want her to do with her life wise) and hold the mental image of her being that person with the full faith that she'll become that person.
2. At the same time, find out what it is she wants and help her get it.
Do that, and do it sincerely, and I think you'll find you have nothing to surmount or deal with.
By the way...
The above Wallace D. Wattles quote comes from his article "Methods", the third of three articles in his God: The Servant of Man series. If you'd like to read them, and I highly recommend you do, click or tap the links below to get your copy today.
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