We all wish to have a perfect relationship with someone that involves no conflict at all. Unfortunately, this is a rare thing to have happen. All types of relationships are bound to have arguments and disagreements of some kind. They might not happen too often, but they will happen.
For instance, you might not agree with something that someone said to you, such as a teacher, child, spouse, minister, salesperson, parent, and so on. Everyone has their own opinions about everyone and everything. In many cases, you'll find that people don't share your opinion on a variety of things.
When you find yourself in one of these situations, you need to use tender loving care (TLC). You may have heard about TLC before, but never used it. Some might say that TLC should be TLCU, which means tender loving care & understanding.
If you want to improve any relationship that you have with someone, you first need to understand what caused the problem between you two in the first place. If you can find out what happened to cause this conflict, it'll be easier for you to use TLC to remedy it.
There was a classic film which had the line "love means never having to say you're sorry". In other words, if you truly love a person and respect them, then it should be impossible for you to hurt them. If you have to say you're sorry, then you must not love them.
Of course, this is just a saying. You can't expect to find someone who's totally perfect all the time and will never hurt you. If a problem arises, just think objectively about the issue and see it from the other person's perspective. Do you think they feel the same way about you as you do about them in this situation? Thinking about it from their perspective will help you think differently about the situation. Then you can possibly change your perception of it.
Improving a relationship doesn't mean forcing the other person to admit that you're right and they're wrong. If you truly care about this other person, you must show them some respect. Most importantly, have empathy for their situation. If you do, they'll have empathy for yours too.
But don't just use words to show them how much you understand their feelings. This won't improve the relationship in the way that you want. If you can take action or physically do something for them, then this would be better. For instance, if the conflict arose over a material object, perhaps you can do something with this object to make the other person happy (e.g. fix it, replace it).
Communication is very important. When the person tells you how they feel, you need to listen and understand every word. Open communication like this is positive for repairing the relationship you two have. You don't need to be mean or harsh either. The other person may very well be in the wrong here. However, you don't need to throw that in their face and make them feel bad about it. Just keep the communication positive without any blaming or name calling. If there's a disagreement about something, let the person state their case respectfully. This is how you show value for a relationship.
If the person can see that you appreciate and forgive them, it'll make them happy. It takes a big person with a kind heart to forgive someone else that's done them wrong. After all, doesn't a loving relationship mean more than superficial issues? If you can compromise fairly, you can forgive. This might take some practice, but it's truly worth it.
It can feel natural to want to blame someone else when a conflict arises. But first, take a good look at yourself. Are you responsible at all for it? Maybe a little bit? If you accept some responsibility and be realistic about the situation, you can improve almost any relationship that's having problems. Sometimes you may even need to take more responsibility than the other person. But if you can master TLCU, then TLC will seem simple to give.
Want better relationships in your life?
Although he never wrote The Science of Winning Love, Wallace D. Wattles did write extensively on the subject, mostly as it related to marriage, but much of what he wrote can be applied to any relationship, marital or otherwise.
Here's a list of what he wrote on the subject in the approximate order in which they were published:
1. Scientific Marriage
Self-published in 1904, this may well be the first book Wallace D. Wattles ever wrote.
2. God: The Servant of Man
Although only the third article in this three-part series of articles by Wallace D. Wattles is directly related to love and marriage, it's necessary to read the first two in order to fully understand the third.
3. "Marital Unhappiness: A New Remedy"
This article contains Wallace D. Wattles' simple, step-by-step remedy for marital unhappiness.
4. "Courtship by Absent Treatment"
A most interesting article by a most interesting man. Wallace D. Wattles again touches on the subject of absent treatment in his serial story As a Grain of Mustard Seed (see below).
5. "A Second Courtship"
This article by Wallace D. Wattles is essentially a fictional case study of the practical application of the instructions contained in his "Marital Unhappiness: A New Remedy" article (see above).
6. "What the World Owes Us"
Interestingly enough, one of the subtitles of this article by Wallace D. Wattles, the fourteenth of fifteen articles in his Lessons in Constructive Science series, is "The Science of Winning Love".
7. As a Grain of Mustard Seed
This serial story by Wallace D. Wattles can best be described as a fictional case study of the practical application of his philosophy. Although its lessons aren't exclusive to love and marriage, it contains enough on these subjects to warrant inclusion in this list.
8. "Marital Happiness"
This in-depth lesson by Wallace D. Wattles, the eighth of ten lessons in his book The Personal Power Course, ties all the essentials of the science of winning love together into one nice, neat and tidy, package.
All of the rare books and articles by Wallace D. Wattles that are listed above are available in my Wallace D. Wattles Master Collection. Click or tap the link below to get your copy today.
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